Photo by @thesaddestday
If you’ve been keeping up with the war propaganda coming out of Team Glasses HQ lately, you’ll no doubt be aware of the imminent Orc raid headed towards Nambour.
Villagers of fighting age are encouraged to enlist ahead of Namba Black Market Day and sharpen up the battle axes.
In a last-ditch effort to broker a peace deal, we sent Dan Bolton to negotiate with the angry horde. It didn’t go so well, tbh. Below is the transcript.
DAN: Who's in Orc, what would we know you from and what the fuck is an Orc?
ORC: Orc is Simon (Murph), Zac, Nik and Sam. We’ve played in a bunch of bands in Canberra. Hard Luck, I Exist, Bloodmouth, Dickie Birds, Primeval Butcher et. al. Orcs are a race of humanoid creatures that rarely have non-violent interactions with men, elves or dwarves.
D: Speaking of violence, Bad Habit and Team Glasses and probably some others have invited you up to Queensland, seemingly for the sake of you being the soundtrack to your own deaths. We've been sharpening our axes. If you have to sacrifice one member of Orc to the heathens of QLD, who are you letting die and why?
O: To be honest, what initially seemed like an invitation in good faith pretty quickly turned into every band and venue in QLD threatening to stab us. We have to assume that it’s because you live so close to the equator that your brains have been cooked into mush.
If we have to sacrifice someone, it should probably be Murph to even the playing field.
D: This definitely true. As a transplant from southern climes, the humidity rots your brain. Be grateful you weren't invited in February. We're all ready to cut our own faces off by then. Having been in a band with Murph, it's not really fair to every other band ever that he's in your band. I'm not sure of Zac and Nik’s hardcore history but is it intimidating to make music with such veterans as Murph and Sam?
O: Well I guess I don’t really have much of a hardcore history, seeing this is my first proper gigging band… Not so much intimidating, I’m honestly more just blown away at how effortless everything feels. Just rock up and riff. Zac hates everyone and everything, including Murph, who never talks, and Sam, who talks too much. They really are veterans and we have watched their ancient bodies disintegrating before our eyes. Neither of them are threats.
D: The demo is sick. Dirty and plodding like the classics of D-beat but with the forcefulness of hardcore. To my ears, it lands somewhere between the later Violent Minds stuff, which is a kind of cleanshirt interpretation of crust punk, and Orc seems to be treading similar ground being law-abiding citizens with jobs and responsibilities. As a cleanshirt myself, I've never done hard drugs or lived in a squat, but Poison Idea is my favourite band. Punk seems to be less factional than it once was, but can a band make an authentic take at a style whilst removed from the lifestyle that created it? Maybe we're all just cosplaying. Maybe we always were. Is this a question? I don't know.
O: The demo definitely owes a debt to Violent Minds. Speaking of Poison Idea, our new live tape coming out this week has covers of ‘It’s an Action’ and ‘Victims of a Bombraid’ by Anti Cimex. Drugs and hedonism are awesome but we’re not from Portland or Skövde and we’re probably not robbing pharmacies any time soon.
At the end of the day, Orc isn’t really an authentic take on anything, it’s a weird collision of things we like. But folks will always project their shit on you. Nerds will often tell us we can’t technically use Warhammer iconography because we spell it with a C not a K.
If people get mad because we live in houses, then so be it. The band is called Orc – of course it’s cosplay. There’s a non-zero chance we start painting ourselves green and swinging foam axes for these Queensland shows. If that bothers anyone, they can come to the gig and argue with Nik about it.
D: Ok, enough nonsense. Why are you all still involved in punk music? Some of you are in your late 30s or early 40s. Why still make loud obnoxious music rather than settle into suburban boredom?
O: The world is on fire and playing loud fast music feels like an appropriate response. I’d definitely be worse off without the catharsis of punk music. Touring is an excuse to link up with friends across the country and find the sickest vegan joints in every city.
Who knows what Murph thinks, he’s an enigma and I’m sure he’ll be writing chaos riffs in another 30 years.
D: Thanks. I'm gonna end this abomination of an interview with two questions. Canberra is obviously home to a lot of politicians and I'm sure it impacts your life in annoying ways, but Queensland arguably has the wackiest politicians. If you could turn any Queensland politician into an Orc, who would it be and why?
O: We’re pretty sure Katter already has Orcish heritage. Don’t ask him about it though or he’ll throw eggs at you.
Catch Orc at the upcoming Namba Black Market Day on Sunday 5 October with Slowcut, Cerebral Erosion, John Lee Spider, Onvoy, Raw Impact and Scream Out.
Tickets $25 (or $30 on the door)
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